celebrity labor stories and the myth of the painless c-section

Let me preface this by saying— if you chose to birth your baby via c-section, vaginally, through your nostrils . . . it’s your body and your business. We all have choices and how we bring babies into this world is one of them. Do as you see fit!

That being said, the stories I read about celebrities opting for c-section because they’re “afraid of pain,” blow my mind.

Who tells women c-sections are somehow less painful or painless, and why are they buying it? Why would anyone opt to have their stomach cut open (muscles, nerves, the whole nine) and a baby pulled out of it (more like pushed, pulled, tugged until it’s out) and think it’s going to be a cakewalk? And the recovery? Here’s what they don’t tell you: The first time you try and walk after 24 hours of leg compresses and catheters— that feels like someone ripped your stomach open, put about a ton of bricks in it, sewed you up and said, ok go ahead and walk now . . . don’t mind the fact that it feels like the contents of your stomach are painfully dragging on the floor.

I remember the first time someone told me after my first c-section, “Well, at least you didn’t have to have any pain.” Seriously? I still have pain. Also not on the list of things you’ll hear from celebrity birth stories: Two c-sections later and my lower abdomen is a mess of dead nerves and shooting pains. And right above the incision looks like a shelf. It’s very attractive.

Of course, at the end of the day I would have birthed my sons through my little finger if that was the only way I could have brought them into this world. I’d give anything, endure any amount of pain … and I’d do it all over again, twice.

My issue is (clearly I have one), it’s annoying when c-sections are glorified with these celebrities like it’s the hip thing to do when you’re just too cool for pain. If you’re considering skipping straight to a c-section because you read your favorite celeb said it was the way to go in Us Weekly, know that it’s not some magically painless process — it’s major surgery.


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