forever young

photo courtesy: http://www.johnfuzek.com/Forever_Young_Band_Bios.html

I’ll warn you: I tend to get really sappy before I have to leave my kids. I always have those “what if something happens to me” moments that brings surges of emotions, makes me want to spend every waking second with them before I go, and usually leads to “just in case” letters.  The last one I wrote was right before I had my last c-section. I wrote a love letter to my son, and baby on the way. It’s tucked away in my scrapbook box.

o.m.g. I have a scrapbook box.

It still floors me sometimes that I’m a mom. And when I say things like scrapbook, sometimes it floors me that I’m that mom. But I am. I’m a sappy, sentimental mom who wants to document everything for her kids (sometimes to the point of slight obsession). I’m a mom who’d often rather be surrounded by the chaos that is a 2 yo and a newborn then out with friends. I’m a mom that’d rather be home with my boys doing absolutely nothing then be paid to go to one of my favorite cities in the world- New York- to do a job that I absolutely love.

But I’m going. Duty calls, and in a few very short days I’ll pack my bags and kiss, hug, cry and repeat…up until the security at the airport gives my husband the stink-eye for being parked in front of the terminal too long. Couple that with postpartum  hormones and it’s a recipe for an emotional tidal wave.

That brings me to this– last month I took my mom to see Rod Stewart and Stevie Nicks. It wouldn’t shock you if I said when Stevie Nicks sang Landslide, and opened it by saying that parents need to hold their kids tighter, and kids need to hold their parents because we never know how long we have each other . . . I lost it. I held my mom. We sang, we cried. I thought of the hundreds of times I sang that song to both of my boys when they were in my belly. It was a beautiful moment.

What I didn’t expect was to completely lose it when Rod Stewart sang Forever Young. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not a bad song, but since it came out when I was in high school and I was, ironically, way too young to get it, I just never related to it. But on this night, standing next to my mom, having just given birth to my new baby weeks earlier, I finally heard the words. It’s a brilliant song.

And as I sit here sappy, thinking of leaving my baby for the first time, the lyrics are so perfect for a note to leave behind to my boys:

May the good Lord be with you
Down every road you roam
And may sunshine and happiness
Surround you when you’re far from home
And may you grow to be proud
Dignified and true
And do unto others
As you’d have done to you

Be courageous and be brave
And in my heart you’ll always stay
Forever young

May good fortune be with you
May your guiding light be strong

May you never love in vain
and in my heart you will remain
Forever Young.

And when you finally fly away
I’ll be hoping that I served you well
For all the wisdom of a lifetime
No one can ever tell

But whatever road you choose
I’m right behind you, win or lose
Forever Young.

Momma loves you, forever…

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